Moving Websites

Ah dear readers... It seems I have outgrown my Blogger.com days.

I actually have a official website! Please follow me to my new location http://www.ericaneils.com and find my Blog tab. I will continue to post recipes, adventures and other thoughts.

Thank you for reading!

Crockpot Tartufo and Fromage et Trois Gemelli ( 3 Cheese and Truffle Pasta in the Crockpot)

We are moving... so I'm trying to use up things...
also I'm starting to panic... which means I want comfort food.
The end result is Mac and Cheese... well.. sort of.
I don't have Macaroni so I'm using Gemelli, pretty little twists of pasta.

My dear friend Katie years ago made what she called Fromage et Trois at a Party... the recipe she would not share, but I've dreamed about it ever since. It was the best Macaroni and cheese ever.

This is my attempt... and I added some truffle salt and white and black truffle oil because... Truffles! I find that sage partners truffle well, they both have that earthy, musky thing happening that is so delicious... so if you don't have loads of truffle laying about. ( If you do, can we be friends?) Sage is a nice way to enhance the earthy flavor. I'm doing it in the crockpot because any time you can dump things in a crock pot and forget about if for a couple hours is a good thing in my mind.

Ingredients:
                                    1 package Organic Dried Pasta (17.6 oz). I used Gemelli
1 1/2 Cup Medium Cheddar - grated
1 1/2 Cup Extra Sharp Cheddar - grated
1 1/2 Cup Jarlsburg Swiss - grated
1 12 oz Can Evaporated Milk
3 Cups Milk ( I used Silk Cashew Milk) as that is what I had in my fridge.... I'm pretty sure real milk would be better... but use what you have.
6 cloves garlic coarsely chopped
1/2 Teaspoon Dry Mustard
1/2 Teaspoon Sage
1/4 Teaspoon Truffle Salt
1/8 Teaspoon Black Truffle Oil
                                         1/8 Teaspoon White Truffle Oil

Directions:
Spray your crockpot with cooking spray
Dump in your uncooked pasta
Throw in your cheeses
Throw in your milks, evaporated and regular
Toss in your garlic, spices and truffle goodness.

Mix it all together.

Set your crockpot and low, put the lid on, set your timer for two hours and go do laundry.. or pack.. or whatever floats your boat.

Some recipes you will see they add the spices at the end... I have never for the life of me understood this, unless its fresh herbs you are adding for beauty and flavor, I always mix my spices in at the beginning, that way they infuse what you are cooking with that goodness... if you throw them in at the end, you can barely taste them and whats the point. Wonder why some left overs are better the next day? Its because the spices have had a chance to blend in and do their magic. Give them a headstart and put them in at the start and you will have that awesome flavor the first day.

Huckleberry Clafoutis (Gluten and Dairy Free)

Before coming back to Montana, Clafoutis was not something I ate that much. My Aunt and my Mother both love it and so it has become a favorite of mine as well. It's quick and easy, everything done in less than an hour.


The Huckleberry season was good last year, like little squirrels we went out and picked and picked, we ate quite a few and froze some away for the future. As both Mom and I are moving soon we are dutifully going through and trying to use up things, so as a chance to use up some of the huckleberries I decided to make Clafoutis.


My Uncle is Gluten Free and I try to avoid milk... I recently discovered the new Silk Cashew milk and am in love with it, it has great flavor and creamy consistency.



So Here is my Recipe: Preheat your oven to 350 F.

Ingredients:

1 cup gluten free Flour (namaste perfect flour blend)
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon almond extract
2 cups cashew milk (or milk of choice)
4 eggs
2 cups previously frozen huckleberries with their juices (can use fresh if you have)









Directions: In a large mixing bowl Mix your flour, salt, sugar, add your extracts (I like a mix of Vanilla and Almond extracts... you can just use one type if you like or leave it out all together if you just don't care. )and your milk...



Whisk Away till most of the lumps are gone (there will be some, and thats ok).


Add your eggs and whisk some more till everything is well combined.

Next, Mix in your huckleberries. When I make Clafoutis I like my fruit to be spread throughout it. Some people will bake it a few minutes before adding the fruit and then put the fruit on top and bake some more. It makes for a dramatic presentation to have it divided but I like the flavor consistency when the fruit is mixed.

Spray a 9.5 " Round Pie Pan, or grease with butter and pour your batter in.






Put the goodness in the oven and set the timer for 45 minutes.










MMM Clafoutis.








When It First Comes out of the oven it will be a bit puffed up like a soufflé ... as you let it sit it will collapse and set up. This is normal and good. Let it set for about 15 to 20 minutes.










Enjoy!!




Clafoutis can be made with just about any fruit, I love it with berries, its good with pears, apples, peaches and plums. It's a very versatile semi sweet. I like it because it's not super sugary compared to some desserts.

EffYourBeautyStandards... the journey of embracing the "plus" or whatever shape you come in.

Some of my first memories are of my grandmother telling me I was fat. She drilled it into my brain till I believed it, and then told me no man would ever love me and I would never succeed if I were fat. 

Me about age 5.. Healthy little girl that even then just wanted to perform. 

I've never been considered small. I've never been called skinny. I can count the number of times a man has scooped me up in his arms and twirled me or carried me someplace in less than one hand. 

My adolescent through adult life thus far, my body has ranged between at my smallest a size 12 to a size 24.. in the last 10 years I sit at about a 16-20. While I'm not super active, I'm not a complete lump either. I walk, hike, do yoga, dance, was SAFD certified in 2008 in rapier and dagger, broadsword and hand to hand, stage combat. 

Size 12... about age 19

When I was a size 12, I was 19, I existed pretty much on salads and was obsessed with fitting in that standard box of beauty. I walked on the treadmill with weights 2 hours every day. I insecure and unhappy and so desperate to be loved, to succeed.  

Age 25 Size 22?

I started having back problems around age 20, I had three months where I could barely move. I got better. When I was 22 I was raped twice in the span of 6 months. I put on weight very quickly after that in an attempt to hide I think... if what my grandmother said was true an no man would love me if I were fat, then no man would want to rape me either.. right? So I hid, for years at a size 24.. pushing 26.  My story is not unusual, it's sadly common. Body's react to stress and trauma... some people gain weight others become thin to an unhealthy level. Don't look at someone and judge them on their size. You have no idea what they have been through. There can be many reasons why a person looks the way they do and really, no one should be judged on their appearance. We are all just in need of love and acceptance. 

Hiking in Glacier Park, not sure what year, guessing around 2003 size 22-24

I was very physically active in my time at Cornish and blissfully happy for most of it and so shrunk down to a size 16...  After I graduated, my back flared again at age 30 and I herniated two discs... I lost much of 2009 to pain and immobility. I fought hard to get to the point where I could function again on an even basic level. Aerobics were out and I gained some of the weight I had lost in school back. But psychologically I had turned a page and wanted to be seen again. Wanted to be that performer the little 5 year old had dreamed about. 

2011 (Christy Trotto photographer)Headshot Size 20

2015 Size 18

Now, almost 20 years later from that size 12 (wtf, when did that happen?) I have come to accept who I am... would I like to be thinner? sure. Would I like to have a million dollars? heck yeah!  Maybe those things will happen one day, but I'm not obsessing about them any more.  I like food, I like too cook, I think that beauty comes in ALL shapes, ages, colors, genders, etc. I look in the mirror and all in all I'm comfortable with what I see. I see a woman who has survived some crazy shit and is still standing, not only standing but dancing and doing yoga. I may be single at the moment, but I've had relationships and when I've looked for them I've never had a hard time finding a date. I've gotten work in my desired field of acting and while I've been out of it a few years, I'm confident I will get work again. 

I went window shopping yesterday... and was discouraged and disgusted. (this happens every time I look at clothes lately). While there is a movement growing : #EFFYOURBEAUTYSTANDARDS (Love Tess Munster! Thank goodness for her!) the balance is still decidedly in favor of the small, tiny waisted people.  They say the average woman in america is a size 14 (so since all sizing is different (thank's designers) lets say 10-16 shall we?) Yet when I wander and look at clothes what I see predominantly on the rack is size 0-8. The 8-16 has been mostly bought, or what is left is ugly. When I wander into the wee corner for the "Womens"....It is ugly... I mean not just a little... I mean like who the heck would wear this and feel good about themselves? Apparently to be "Plus" or "Womens" in the Flathead is to be resigned to loud obnoxious patterns, frumpy, unflattering cuts and weird shit with beading all over it.

There is no Lane Bryant in the Flathead, and no Torrid. Target has a tiny section that blends in to the Maternity section. Ross has a tiny section. T.J. Max has a rack... literally just one, front and back. J.C. Penny has a small corner placed next to a large Active wear section of tiny work out clothes. Maurice has a tiny corner of things that look cute on the hanger, but when you try it on look ridiculous. Herbergers has the largest collection, but little of it is anything you would want to wear and each piece starts around $50. Yet, I look around this valley and honestly I see more people looking like me than I do your average super model. 

Heres the thing... some people are small, naturally and also, some people are big, naturally. People come in different heights, proportions, skin tones, physical abilities and ailments. We come in various ages, we have various styles. Let's climb out of the beauty standard box and let's start having representation of EVERYONE in our media. Let's stop typecasting.... let's have all the styles and clothes in the full range of sizes. 

Tess Munster or as she's also known Tess Holiday is my new role model. I love her, She gives me courage. She's fierce, beautiful, and determined to change the rules. She is completely open about herself and her experiences.  She makes me think that I maybe just maybe have a chance. The world is changing.... slowly. Curves are being embraced... Tess and The Militant Baker  and others are raising awareness. 

My awesome friend Hannah Schnabel is on a mission to design awesome clothes for curvy gals and I can't wait till she gets going. She's graduating in June.  She doesn't have a website yet... but look out for amazing things from her in the future. 

In the mean time companies like Lane Bryant,  Torrid and Dove are trying.  Lane Bryant's  new ad campaign: #ImNoAngel falls  is a step in the right direction, but no great leap. The models are all essentially about the same size, very pretty, no visible stretch marks or cellulite. I hope these companies and more keep trying and keep pushing forward, every step is a step in the right direction.

I love the Militant Bakers redesign of the Lane Bryant campaign,  which shows a variety of curvy women. 

I hope when I am in L.A. I can be part of the change too... the mission for acceptance and understanding. I'm excited to try.  We all deserve to feel loved and beautiful no matter our packaging. 

2008 after graduating Cornish, size 16

Another Christy Trotto Photo, this time 2012

One of my favorite photos of myself ever, by the talented Jeanette Bath in 2009

Veg and Cheese Bread Pudding.

In the battle of Stuffing Vs. Bread Pudding, for me, Bread Pudding always wins.  To me Stuffing, just isn't as magical.  Don't get me wrong, I like stuffing, ok... I just like Bread pudding more.

Stuffing is made with stale hard croutons, generally.

Bread pudding is made with slightly stale, but still soft bread.

Stuffing, depending on the recipe, has minimal vegetables... onion, maybe some oysters or sausage, and is made with stock and seasonings.

Bread pudding, again depending on the recipe has more of the things that stuffing has, plus cheese and often milk or cream instead or in addition to the stock.

Stuffing is drier.

Bread pudding is, like savory moist cake.

I was fortunate enough to snag a loaf of free bread from Polebridge Bakery the other day. Fresh bread is amazing, but unlike store bought commercial bread, it goes stale much faster. So when bread starts to stale, for me it's just a good excuse to make Bread Pudding. As it is one of mom's favorites she's always happy when this happens.

Today I did a Caramelized Onion, Garlic, Carrot, Celery, Mushroom and 3 Cheese Bread Pudding.

Yum!

Ingredients:
2 Tablespoons Olive Oil
1 Large Onion (I used Yellow).. I like medium small slices, I half the onion twice, once horizontally and once vertically, and then slice the halves into thin slices.
6 Cloves Garlic, chopped fine
2 Medium Carrots, sliced fairly thin.
3 Celery sticks, sliced fairly thin
8 Medium sized Crimini Mushrooms, sliced fairly thin
Spices to taste..
I used:
Oregano, about 1/2 teaspoon,
Sage, about 1/8 teaspoon
Thyme, about 1/8 teaspoon
Rosemary, about 1 Tablespoon
a bit of Cayenne .. just a dash
and himalayan salt... a few grinds
Spices are flexible.. if you like more, use more, if you like less, use less.... use different ones if you like. Play!
1/3 cup White Cheddar Cheese Shredded
1/3 Cup Medium Cheddar Cheese Shredded (to be mixed in)
1 Cup Medium Cheddar Cheese Shredded (to be baked on top)
1/3 Cup Pepper jack Cheese Shredded
1/2 Loaf good bread, slightly stale. (I used potato bread), sliced into 1 inch slices and then cubed. If your bread is already sliced, it doesn't matter, just cut it so there are nice bite sized cubes.
5 Eggs, scrambled
2 Cups (or more or less) Milk

Preheat your oven to 375 F. (190 C.)

In a large wok or Frying pan heat your oil, on medium high.
Add your onions and cook several minutes, stirring on occasion, until they start to become translucent and just start to caramelize. (About 5 Minutes)
Add Your garlic, stir and sauté a few more minutes.(about 3 minutes)
Add your carrots and celery, stir and sauté yet a few more minutes. (About 3 minutes)
Add your mushrooms, stir and sauté even more.
Add your spices. Again my measurements when it comes to spices are loose, I pour a bit into my hand, or into the pot as it calls to me and roll with it. I know this is difficult when attempting to replicate but part of the joy of cooking is playing. Add more, use less, don't like rosemary? (what are you crazy?) try tarragon or dill.. either of those would be tasty.
Sauté all this awesomeness till the carrots start to soften and the mushrooms are cooked.

Remove from the heat.
In a large mixing bowl add your cubed bread and your shredded cheese (except for the 1 cup med. cheddar)

 and stir in your cooked veggies.
Stir in your milk...
It will look rather like throw up at this point... 

I know, not attractive but trust me the end result is yummy!
Stir in your scrambled eggs.

Spray a 9x13 pan with cooking spray and pour in your big bowl of bread, veggie, cheesy glop. spread it out evenly in the pan. Sprinkle the remaining cheese over the top.

Bake for about 25 minute (until the cheese is melted and the pudding is golden on top, but still nice and a bit gooey in the middle)

Let set for about 5 minutes.

EAT!

It may not be the prettiest, but man it's good !!
Mom gave it a gold star.

Change/Leaping to the Unknown.

Change.

Change is scary, terrifying really. Mom's house just had an offer and she accepted it. This spot has been my haven since I was 12. There is no spot like it. Whenever my life has fallen apart, whenever I was in need of comfort and of family, I came here. It is beyond fathomable that I have 6 weeks left, and then, it is gone from my life.

My Stepda Ed built this house in 1973, it's not perfect. He was a wonderful man but he took shortcuts and the house needs work. Still, I love it.  The view is incomparable, looking out over the slough and the fields and the mountains beyond, it is a peaceful paradise. Ed's ashes are here, his energy is here, it's hard to walk away. He was the best Dad I ever had.

A new chapter of life begins. Haven will always be where Mom is, and while she doesn't know yet where she will end up, so long as we have each other, it will be fine. I can come visit Montana, and while it will not be this house and this view, there are other vistas  of the mountains and water.

With change comes fear. I'm moving to L.A., the what if's swamp my brain. What if I can't afford it? What if I fail? What if I don't make friends? What if the friends I have are too busy for me? What if.. what if.. what if... with visions of disaster.

It makes a person want to curl up into a ball and hide.

The important thing to remind myself of is that I have survived this far.  I will survive beyond this. With all the crazy excruciating things I have been through, this will be easy. If I don't try, my what ifs will be a what if I had? It's tempting to stay where it is safe, comfortable and familiar... the devil you know... vs that devil you don't.

I am exceptionally lucky. I have great friends. While I may have nightmares of being homeless and starving, I know that the people who love me will never let that happen. I always land on my feet. I always find a job. I always pay my bills (even if sometimes a bit late). I always have food. I always have clothes.

It will be ok. I am loved. It all works out... somehow.  This too shall pass. This terrifying fear that is swallowing me now, is just a feeling.

I have to take the leap of faith in order to fly.

Prune, Date and Maple Bread Pudding

It's really good!!Sandwiches are a great affordable lunch, but I don't like using the heels for sandwiches.. Call me fussy. After two loaves worth of bread leaving me with 4 heels bread pudding sounded like a good option. 

I love bread pudding, it's comforting. This is a pretty healthy version.

- 4 heel sliced thin Daves killer Bread torn into bite sized chunks 

- 5 dates chopped 

- 5 prunes chopped 

- 1/4 cup red wine 

-1/4 cup almond milk (or milk of choice)

- 3 tablespoons grade A maple syrup

- 1 capful almond extract

- 1 capful vanilla extract

- 3 Tablespoons butter chopped into small pieces 

- 3 eggs 

Preheat oven to 350 F.

Chop your dates and prunes corsely and place in bowl, cover with wine, almond milk (it will curdle slightly, this is ok), the almond and vanilla extract and maple syrup. Let it soak for about 10 minutes. 

In the meanwhile rip up the bread and place in a 8" round cake pan. 

In another bowl whisk the eggs.  Mix in with the fruit and liquid. Stir in the butter. Poor all this over the bread and mix slightly making sure the fruit and butter are spread out.

Cook for 30 minutes - until browned on top and set but still pudding like in the middle and on the bottom. 

Let cool for 5 minutes...

Cut and serve... Drizzle a little extra maple syrup over the top if desired. 

It's really good!!